Skulduggery and the Theatre
by Shadowdawn199
Summary: Just a crazy oneshot story where Skul gets drunk (good reason) and starts singing random songs, much to the amusement of Valkyrie, Ravel and Ghastly. May become a two or three shot if people think it's good.
1. Chapter 1

**This is an odd fanfic, basically a random song that I made up and has now become a joke among my friends. Just a bit of randomness. And in this fic, Skulduggery can get drunk.**

"I've lost him."

"How do you lose him? It's not like he blends into the crowd."

This conversation was between Valkyrie and Ghastly, which was interrupted by a Psychic going "Ooh, I've found him. He's in Jenglade Theatre. Singing a weird song?"

Valkyrie and Ghastly just looked at her. "What?" they said in unison.

"What's all this about singing and losing someone?" asked a new voice.

"Ravel, Val got Skulduggery drunk and then she lost him, only for him to turn up at someplace named Jenglade Theatre. Now he's singing, to top it all off."

Ravel grinned, "When he's somber we are so going to tease him about this."

Valkyrie shook her head and sighed, "You guys are just like big kids, you know. "

They looked at her in surprise.

"And you're not?"

She grinned.

"Oh hell, lets go find him. Maybe we can use one of those special cures to somber him up faster?" Valkyrie replied, and they grabbed their coats and set off, the Psychic dizzily following.

"Wait, where is Jenglade Theatre?" Ghastly asked, stopping.

The Psychic pointed to a building across the road from the Sanctuary.

"There." she said before passing out.

"Val, did you get her drunk too?"

Valkyrie grinned sheepishly. "Maybe." she answered.

Ravel had already set off towards the theatre and as Ghastly and Valkyrie caught up, he was just flinging open the door.

They entered the theatre, which was massive even though on the outside it hadn't looked that big.

When they had finished gawking at the gigantic insides of the theatre their eyes focused on a distant black figure staggering around on the stage.

As they neared the figure, this could be heard.

**My Enemy is an Anemone**

_My enemy_

_Is an Anemone _

_Called Valkyrie_

_With a pet called Snee Snee._

_I think I'm insane_

_But I drove on a plane_

_I can't really sing_

_But I can fly on one wing._

_I'm really cool_

_And called Mr. Drool._

_My enemy_

_Is an Anmone_

_Called Valkyrie_

_With a pet called Snee Snee._

_I love to sing _

_And fly on one wing_

_I'm really sane_

_And can drive on a plane_

_I'm not really cool_

_And called Mr. Drool_

"OH. MY. GOD. He thinks that you're an anemone?" Ghastly asked as Ravel literally ROFLOLed on the floor, almost face planting when he tried to get back up.

This fell on deaf ears as Valkyrie had run up to Skulduggery, justin time for him to set his head on fire. Luckily, his fedora had fallen off and wasn't harmed by this rapid turn off events.

"Ghastly, he's set his head on fire."

Ghastly waved his hand cheerily at Valkyrie and ran out of the theatre, hand going for his cell phone.

**Well, what did you think? This may become bigger if more people like it. Maybe I'll post a chapter with him somber. Haha ha ha. Oh god, please review so I can do that.**


	2. Chapter 2

**So, you guys begged me for more and here it is, hope it's as good as you thought it would be. And apologies for writing 'somber' instead of sober. Shall be changed.**

"And then you were like 'Oh somewhere, over the rainbow, a pig served me drinks, and-"

"Ghastly, please, I have a pounding headache, my combat accessory has my hat, I have just been singing embarrassing songs at a pitch that only dogs could hear, in an mercifully abandoned theatre, so do you think you could stop talking for five seconds? And I'm sorry about your phone, but you shouldn't have tried to take pictures."

Ghastly shrugged, and counted out the seconds on his fingers. "I already uploaded the pictures to the Internet, so it didn't matter. I'm going to email that to every sorcerer around the world." he finished, cackling madly.

Valkyrie, who was wearing Skullduggery's hat, on the grounds that she wasn't sure if he was completely sober, and didn't want him to set fire to it, like he had almost done at least three times on their way out of the theatre, tripped over the still passed out Psychic lying in front of the Sanctuary.

"Valkyrie, if you have bent my hat I shall be very displeased. And how did you manage to get a passed out Psychic to become the Sanctuary doormat? Tipstaff will not be happy"

Valkyrie was shaking the aforementioned Psychic, who was batted her away and muttered "Please, five minutes more mum, I don't want to go to school yet."

"Somebody help me get her inside?" asked Valkyrie, trying to lift the slim but surprisingly heavy Psychic.

Ravel, who was closest, helped Valkyrie help up the Psychic, and bring her inside to the Sanctuary.

Skulduggery found a chair and sat down, covering his head with his hands, moaning about his headache and hat.

When the Psychic woke up, she explained everything.

Her name was Ebony Hearts, and her best friend Magi had died, so she had tried to drown her sorrows with alcohol, which was not advised since she was a certain kind of Psychic called an Empathy Stirrer, and she could make people feel the same emotions, or become in the same physical or mental state as her, and while she was drunk she had used her power on Skullduggery, making him drunk.

Skullduggery was also made the laughing stock of the Sanctuary, because Ghastly, ever true to his word, had emailed the pictures and a recording of Skullduggery's singing to everyone in the Sanctuary, but thankfully not the other Sanctuary's. Even Madame Mist and Tipstaff were reduced to tears, they were laughing so hard.

Needless to say, Skullduggery skulked for a month, and only when Valkyrie gave him his hat back did he go back to working for the Sanctuary.

This was because he missed his beloved hat, and had been skulking because of it, not that he was embarrassed, or that his so called 'friends' had made him the butt of every joke they made for the month.

**So, a short but hopefully hilarious conclusion to this misadventure. So, how many times did you laugh reading this fic?**


End file.
